Life Lessons From My Best Friend's Funeral. I Mean, Her Birthday Party.

Last weekend, 2 friends and I threw a funeral for my best friend. But not a regular funeral — my friend is alive and well.

She just wanted a funeral-themed birthday party. A rebirth-day of sorts, to let go of old thoughts, beliefs and identities, and welcome new ones. 🖤🎉

It was an amazing night of heartfelt eulogies, laughs and celebrating her.

My boyfriend took photos and made an IG reel of the evening, but my friend was hesitant to have it posted — she was nervous people would judge the idea of a funeral birthday party.

One of the beliefs she was aiming to let go of was that the things she likes and wants to do are "weird," and hiding them.

The next day, she approved of him posting the reel on his account. Within a couple hours, the comments were coming in:

"Omg this is so bad*ss!"
"This is incredible...what a beautiful way to celebrate"
"This is epic"
And even "love this so much, I did a similar thing on my most recent birthday."

None of the people commenting knew her. And those comments are helping her realize that her people are out there after all.

It's not about needing approval from other people. It's about realizing there is no "normal," seeing your story in other people sharing theirs, and being able to find community where you feel like you belong.

In my signature keynote, I talk about all of the above — and how after I started sharing about the muscle disability I was born with, after hiding it for 30+ years, I realized that everyone has something they're afraid to talk about.

Maybe it's a physical or mental health condition, or a family or financial situation, or a life experience. Maybe it's temporary, or maybe, like me, it's not.

Maybe it's a funeral birthday party.

But it's through talking about the things we're afraid to share, that we're finally able to find our people who understand us.

And every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. ✨